Disposable Friend

I always wonder what would happen if I just stopped reaching out.

I always reach out to everyone first.

If I stopped who would I hear from?

How long would it take them to notice I am not longer contacting them?

Would they realize how long it’s been?

I know they cannot see me in person for weeks, months, even years.

But talking? 

I think people wouldn't even notice.

We rely a snapchat streaks, like that counts for proper communication.

I am tired of even being the one who keeps that streak alive.

If I didn’t send that good morning snap photo, would you even think to send a photo to me first?

I am such an afterthought in everyone else’s lives. 

It starts to take a toll on my mental health to know how easily disposable I am. 

I am used to being alone but I was always okay with my own company. 

But now one is a crowd with my overthinking thoughts.

I can be away from my phone for hours where the only texts are ads from stores I shop at.

People don’t realize how lonely it can be to have not a single person putting you first.

I do enjoy being a single.

But no one prepares you for being a forgotten friend to everyone else in your life.